When Pink-Spotted Tigers Attack

“Hi, my name is Lily. Some days a little girl can feel too loved, even by her best pink-spotted friend, Tiger-Lily …”


“I mean, even a little girl needs her space, right?”


“Daaaaaaaaaaaaad!”


“Sheeesh, that’s better. Still, I guess even a pink-spotted tiger can’t help herself when I’m so obviously boopy-doopsterish. Boopy-doop!”

“A-tish-oo, A-tish-oo, We All Fall Down. Laughing.”

“Hi, my name is Lily. The best news I have ever heard is (a) my Mum suffers from hay fever and (b) I thinking sneezing is hilarious. Boopy-bless-you-doop, Mum!”

Swedes and Turnips

“Hi, my name is Lily. Here’s me watching TV in my new shirt, which was sent to me by my lovely cousins in Sweden especially for the big football tournament in Europe …


“ … and here’s me two seconds after the dopey turnips let Spain score a winning goal in injury time. Silly boopy-doops!”

My Daddy’s Day Dress

“Hi, my name is Lily. There was a big fuss in our house yesterday because it was Daddy’s Day, and I got to wear my special dress. That was nice. Anyway, back to normal now, Daddy – because every day is Lily Day! Boopy-doop!”

A Girl's Best Friend Is Her Taffy

“Hi, I’m Lily. My daddy went off to Bristol at the weekend and brought me home a lovely new friend called Taff. Not that he actually bought it or anything, a friend of his called Rhian gave it to him for me. Still, who cares who bought the blummin’ thing when you’re getting lovely new teddies? That's me on the right, by the way. Boopy-doop!”

“Won’t Anyone Please Help Me?”

“Hi, I’m Lily. I don’t usually like to complain but my parents are very, very bad people. In fact, they don’t feed me at all, and things have got so bad that I’m reduced to eating my toys to survive. Can anyone help? I’m a good little girl, and all I want is not to have to eat my toys to make it through the day. I’ve already devoured two rabbits, a giraffe and a large bear, and I’m getting fed up with trying to digest all that stuffing. Boopy-doop!”

My Granny and Me

“Hi, I’m Lily. I took my mum and dad all the way to Sligo last weekend to see my granny and granddad as a special treat, because they’ve been very well behaved lately, and what did they do? They put me on the floor beside the stove. I mean, really – what kind of way is that to treat a princess? Here’s a video of me telling my granny in no uncertain terms that I am not, and have no intention of ever becoming, Cinderella. Boopy-doop.”